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Lesson 1

Attachment Styles, Demystified

A grounded look at how early bonds shape how we love — and how to gently rewrite the script.

Attachment theory began in nurseries and ended up in bedrooms. What started as a way to describe how infants relate to caregivers became one of the most useful lenses we have for understanding adult intimacy.

The four styles

Most people land somewhere on a spectrum across two axes: anxiety (how much we worry about closeness) and avoidance (how much we shy from it).

Secure

Comfortable with closeness and autonomy. Trusts that good partners will show up, and can show up for them. About 50–60% of adults in Western samples.

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Check for understanding

What two axes do most attachment styles map onto?